Are You Kidding, The Floor's Still Wet 

    
From Uncle Vellanoff's Journal

   In one town, we got acquainted with the chief of police. He had done more than his share to see that the crowds that came to the theater every night behaved themselves. In some towns this wasn’t the case. 
   To show our appreciation we took him out to dinner one evening, and during the meal he told us several stories about being a policeman in Wichita. 
    One story had to do with a patrolman who, when he called the station, was given the assignment of answering a call from a lady who claimed to have shot her husband because he walked on her wet just mopped floor. 
    After a bit, the patrolman called back and the captain asked him if he had arrested the lady. The patrolman answered, “Are you kidding, the floor’s still wet.” 

   Speaking of strange women, well, maybe not so strange, but this was a couple who traveled with the show. The husband played several instruments in our small orchestra, and she worked on costumes. Anyway, it seems that in one of their trunks, she had a small box that she told her husband never to open. Never! 
    A little background here, as the police chief explained, might help. When this couple was married, the bride’s mother had her promise never to tell her husband that he was wrong about anything. Instead, if the situation came up where he was wrong, she should just knit, or something similar, and keep her mouth shut. 
    This lady became ill and had to seek medical help, which turned into a stay in the hospital. For a couple days, her making it out of the hospital alive was in question. During this time, she told her husband to bring her the box, which he did. She told him to open it. Inside he found a partially knit sweater and $95,000 dollars. The husband was flabbergasted. After she told him about her promise to her mother he felt rather proud of himself because obviously, he had not often been wrong if she was only able to knit part of a sweater. 
    But the money puzzled him, so he asked, “Where did this $95,000 come from?” “Oh,” she said, “that’s from selling sweaters.”