How To Influence and Motivate People 

     Question - If you saw a man stuff two vampire bats into his mouth, and then open his mouth and let them fly away, what would your first reaction be? 
      Vomit in your soup? 
      Ask somebody to call a psychiatrist? 
      Or, rush out and make sure you had correctly sorted your garbage in the politically correct manner in order to save the environment? 
      Well, in Brazil there is an environmental activist by the name of Arteval Daurte, who hopes you choose option number three. Because, he claims, that’s why he’s doing this stunt with the bats. 
     Now if the bat stunt doesn’t convince you to rush out to save the planet, then he will do the same thing, but with snakes. If you're really a hard sell, then he will suspend himself in a wooden box that has been set on fire. 
     What intrigues me is what in his background leads him to believe that any of these three stunts will make anyone even think about environmental issues let alone become an activist?

Other Examples of Internet Journalistic Excellence 

     Headline - Sea turtle rescued from fishing line with pole attached off Florida.        So what are we to learn from this headline. That a sea turtle got rescued from a fishing line is pretty straightforward and clear. 
     The problem has to do with the pole. Is it really attached to something off Florida. Probably not, but then who knows for sure what a turtle is going to do, or a Floridian for that matter. 
     A simple comma would have made a huge difference. 

     Headline - Giant bison herd blocks traffic on Yellowstone road. 
     Okay, but just looking at the pictures these bison they don’t look any larger than your average bison. Now if they mean that a giant herd of bison blocked a Yellowstone road, that’s something else. 

     Headline - Elephant brought to a halt by intimidating little girl.  
     The first question is who was intimidating whom? Was it the little girl or was it the elephant? The report tells us that it was the elephant who halted at the sight of the little girl. 
     What the report is guessing at is that the elephant was intimidated. Maybe the elephant was just astounded to find this little girl in its path. Or maybe the elephant stopped because it was amused to find this little girl standing there with one arm raised. 
      The report is guessing that the little girl is motioning the elephant to stop. Maybe the little girl is just giving the elephant a friendly wave.

It Was Bound To Happen Sooner or Later – I Was Hoping For Later 

     According to a report filed by Daniel Uria, there is a Colorado company that is now offering wine for cats. According to their rational, this wine is for cat owners who enjoy sharing a glass of wine with their pets.      I could have gone a whole lifetime without once thinking, Boy I wish I could share a glass of wine with my cat. 
     Of course, it might be different if I had a cat. 
     This product is beet-based. There you go; these people must think that cats are really dumb. First of all, I would not explain this beet-based fact to the cat I was hoping would join me in a snort. Like I hinted, cats aren’t dumb. 
     To help make up for the beet thing they have included some catnip in this drink. Okay, that’s more like it! 
     Did I mention that this cat wine has no alcohol in it? 
     On the up side, the catnip will make the cat react to its ‘wine’ much the same as you’ll react to the alcohol in your wine. You’ll both lose your inhibitions, have a hard time staying upright, and neither one of you will remember what happened, except you’ll have a craving to repeat whatever it was that got you into this condition. 
     Now tell me, who wouldn’t want to share that experience with their cat?

What Not To Do and How To Do It 

      You know what you have to do. You know where you’re going to do it. You make your plans. Then comes the day when you and your partner make your move to carry out the plan. 
     It’s a simple plan. Just walk into that McDonald’s and demand the money in the cash registers. I mean, people who work in a McDonald’s can’t be much of a threat to people waving guns around, can they? 
     Well, funny you should ask. 
     The two robbers who walked into the McDonald’s in Ecole-Valentin, near Besancon, were probably thinking: Yep, easy pickings.        What they failed to notice were eleven Special Forces soldiers sitting at tables eating their lunch. 
     But the Special Forces men noticed them. They waited until the robbers exited the establishment. The eleven soldiers followed and confronted the robbers, who took the advice to surrender with less than the serious manner the soldiers thought appropriate, so they shot one robber in the stomach, and believe it or not, the second robber fell down a flight of stairs and sustained serious injuries. Funny how that could happen. 
     The moral of this story: If there is any, it is: one – don’t rob a McDonald’s; two – if you absolutely must rob a McDonald’s, make sure there are no Special Forces people sitting around having Big Macs.

Internet Journalism - - Who’s Writing This Stuff? 

     A June 9, 2016, article put out by the AP, from Ersey City, New Jersey starts out by saying: 

 “A man getting ready to watch the sunrise on a piece of plywood in a marina _ _” 

      Okay, did this man really expect to see the sunrise on a piece of plywood? Usually, sunrises are seen in the sky, but in New Jersey who knows. 

 The report continues:      

“The man was sent drifting into the river on an 8-foot-long piece of plywood_ _ _” 

      Okay, so the man was on a floating piece of plywood, and probably planning on watching the sunset in the sky. [I feel a little better about this guy already.] The question is, why was the man on the plywood. Maybe he couldn’t afford a boat. But a piece of plywood? Give me a break. 
      Now a few addition details would have been helpful. It says an 8-foot-long piece. Question: how wide was this piece?” How thick was this piece?” If I was going to use a piece of plywood for a boat, these additional dimensions would make a big difference. 

 The report continues:

 “_ _ _ was swept out by the Hudson River current_ _ _” 

      So not only is this guy on a piece of plywood, but launches this makeshift boat where there is a current that will take him out into a harbor, and as the report says, “into the harbor's highly traveled commercial lanes.” There is no indication that he had any way to control the piece of plywood---no motor, no oars. So what did he think was going to happen? 

The report continues: 

“The man told rescuers from fire department marine units that he went out to the dock at the Newport Yacht Club and Marina in Jersey City to watch the sun come up.” 

      So how did this guy get from the dock onto a small piece of plywood? Was this piece of plywood part of the dock? Did this guy get off the dock and onto the plywood on purpose? If so, and without any additional information, maybe some psychological evaluation is in order. 

The report continues: 

“Guzzo said he believes the man stayed on the piece of wood because he didn't want to jump into the water and lose his cellphone while swimming back.” 

      So now the report is telling us what a third party is guessing the man on the piece of plywood might have been thinking. That isn’t even hearsay testimony. This is pure conjecture and I’m not sure why it’s included in the report. 

Other questions: 

      What part of the sunrise could he see from the piece of plywood that he couldn’t see from the dock? 

      And last but not least, did he ever get his pictures of the sunrise? 
      So here we have a piece of internet journalism that is poorly written, and lacking in pertinent information. It would be less disturbing if this was an isolated case.

Now This Is A Good Friend 
     In Fairbanks, Alaska, a man escaped from a minimum-security facility. Using the word “escape” here might be a little misleading, as the caretakers of this facility have instructions not to interfere with inmates who decide to leave. 
     Now that’s minimum-security. The escapee was seen riding a bicycle away from the facility. Three hours later he returned with an SUV and picked up some of his fellow inmates. They all left together. The last report is that this man is still on the loose.      Maybe the police have instructions prohibiting them from looking for the people who decide to leave. It makes a person wonder why they go to the trouble of putting people in this facility in the first place.

Is Everybody Happy!? No? Then Vote For Me.          

     When I was younger, it was common around Memorial Day to find veterans in or out of uniform, sometimes accompanied by a currently serving service man, offering small red paper poppies outside stores, on street corners, or anyplace they thought there might be a crowd.      These poppies had a stem, a green center, and a banner attached saying that any donation went to the Veterans of Foreign Wars. For a donation these past and present service persons would give you a poppy, which you would proudly wear in a lapel, shirt pocket, or somewhere so people could see that you supported the veteran’s cause. It also kept other poppy purveyors from accosting you for a donation. 

      My point is that you didn’t get a poppy unless you made a donation. I can’t remember anyone ever saying that it was unfair. No one even thought that way. Why in the world should you get a Poppy unless you made a donation? It was one of those common sense things.              Yesterday I was coming out of Fred Meyer loaded down with bags of stuff to eat, when a veteran stepped up to me and stuck a poppy into a fist clenched around the plastic handles of grocery bags. He was giving one out to everybody who walked in or out of the store. Helping him was a young Marine. They did have a table with some literature and a canister for donations. 
      I thought to myself, so, in this kinder, gentler time we live in, here’s another example that all of us are equal, and that we all get the same thing no matter what we do or how much we contribute. Everybody is a winner.       The problem is, from what I see, the general populace is more divided now, or at least much more vocal about our differences despite the effort to make us all out to be the same, all equal, all worthy of the same things, and the same treatment. 
      Part of what brings this to light is the current situation where political contenders, are using divisiveness as a springboard to political office. They’re telling us how unequal we are, what freedoms we lack, who’s taking advantage of us, and which neighbor’s trying to kill us. Then when the candidates tell us how they’re going to solve the problems, it only further points out to everyone how much better off the other guy or group is. This creates everything from jealousy, to hate. I’m not saying it all started with Buddy Poppies, but that the Buddy Poppy situation brought it to my mind.

Who Needs the Protection 
     Recently in Rancho Cucamonga, California, two bears came into town and were spotted wandering around near a couple schools. The school officials, when hearing about the bears, put the school into what they call ‘lockdown.’ 
      I’m guessing this means that the kids couldn’t get out. 
      My question is this, were they protecting the kids from the bears or the bears from the kids? I’m guessing most of the kids, if they are anything like me and my schoolmates, would have dearly loved to go out and see the bears. Of course, in this age with all the excitement garnered via video games, a couple loose bears might not have quite the drawing power as in times past.