Do Not Change the Channel

     The police in Lawrence, Kansas, put out a warning to residents that they didn’t want them getting so emotional over the 9/25 presidential debate that they would be calling 911. Evidently, this has been a problem in the past. 
     I‘m guessing that in Lawrence they have very little in the way of entertainment. It is the only reason I can imagine for them to be getting emotional over a presidential debate, especially the one between Trump and Clinton. I mean comedy usually elicits the emotion of laughter and happiness, but hardly the desire to call 911. 
     There’s something going on in Lawrence that we’re missing. Maybe it’s their proximity to Clinton Lake.

To Watch or Not to Watch 

     While cruising through the TV listings I’ve noticed a program that keeps showing up entitled, Do You Poop Enough? With a catchy title like that, I’m surprised that I’ve not tuned in to see what it’s about. 
     I’d like to meet the marketing person who thought up that title and listen to his rationale. 
     I’ve no idea what the program’s about, but one thing for sure, is that the title is a tad off-putting. Plus there is the suspicion that they are trying to sell something. Now, I don’t know if this program is shown globally or just in Central Oregon. Maybe they think that out here in the desert, with cultural opportunities so few and far between, we’ll be willing to watch anything. I hate to inform them that in this case they’ve misjudged my desperation for entertainment and/or information. 

 When Your Mother Told You to Wear Clean Underwear When You Travel, She Might Have Foreseen This 

 This takes a ‘room with a view’ to a whole new level. In Changsha, China, a resort has built public glass bathrooms. Not glass fixtures, but glass walls. You got it, both the stalls and the urinals plus the occupants are visible to those outside. So people who can’t function without privacy would need to look elsewhere for someplace to relieve themselves. 
    The big question is Why? The reason given is so that people who need to use the facilities can still look out and enjoy the view of the surrounding scenic wooded area. That reason seems a little lame. Is the scenery so compelling that a person can’t disengage from it for the few minutes the bathroom function is going to take? Like I said, the resorts reasoning seems a little dodgy to me. 
    They just may be trying to start a new spectator sport. Think about it!

It Makes You Wonder 

      In Seattle, a man came up to a police officer and told him that someone had seemingly abandoned a brief case after stopping to pet his dog. Later in the same report it claims that the briefcase owner left the case when walking his dog. Whose dog? We’re not really sure. 
      Anyway, when the police opened the case they found bags of cocaine and a scale, along with some pills and other things, all of which are illegal. Also in the briefcase was the owner’s cell phone and an ID card. 
     Sometime later, the owner, a 19-year old genius, approached police and asked them about the missing briefcase. He told them that it contained some important papers that he needed. Of course when he identified the briefcase as his he was arrested for possession of all the illegal contents. 
     Now, first of all this 19-year old walks away and leaves a briefcase whose contents are worth a good deal of money. Why he would do this is a mystery. It seems this dog has really thrown him off his game. Then to prove that he is not very bright he went to the police and asked if they had found his drugs.

This May Be Something He’ll Want to Leave off His Resume 

      In California, a burglar broke into the playroom of the Indio YMCA and stole a bunch of play money out of a toy cash register. The problem with this is that stealing things, and money is probably high on his list, is the way this thief makes his living. Play money will not get him closer to his goal of financial independence. 
     Now he’s just the laughing stock of the Indio criminal element, or so I’m surmising. When that element gets together to plan some caper, and they’re handing out assignments, they’ll say to our thief, “Sorry, Bud, this caper doesn’t include lifting any play money.” That comment will probably be followed by their all laughing until they fall down. 
    It would be enough to make a guy change his career path. 

 Goat? Sheep? Who Cares?   

     Sometimes you get the feeling that certain civil servants just don’t have enough to do. For instance: the Halton, Ontario, regional police issued a warning to the people they’d sworn to protect and serve that there was a goat on the loose and that they should drive carefully while the police tried to return the goat to its owner. They even published a picture of the goat. 
    That caused a problem because the animal, according to “an officer with more expert knowledge,” announced that the animal was actually a newly shorn sheep. 
     I’m guessing that someone finally asked the owner what the lost animal was and it was confirmed to be a goat. It seems everyone was relieved to have that settled, meantime the goat is still at large. So people in the Halton, Ontario, area, drive with care, it’s like a barnyard out there. 

There It Is, You Figure It Out

Headline: 

 Minnesota Driver Waits for Mouse to Leave Her Car on Side of Highway 

    From this headline we would have to assume that the mouse was driving this lady’s car and that she waited for the mouse to park her car alongside the highway. Well, don’t look at me, that’s what it says. 
    One obvious conclusion is that the writer skipped Headline Writing 101 in Journalism school. However, after further reading we might deduce, even if the writer doesn’t make it easy, that maybe the woman after finding a mouse in her car, (probably not driving), left her car on the shoulder, and was found there by the police, waiting along the road, you got it, for the mouse to leave her car along the highway. 
    I’m acquainted with some journalism majors and their kids could write a better story than this. 
    And we still don’t know if the mouse ever got out of the car or not.

Some of This and Some of That 

      The state of Texas just passed a law that allows 21 year-olds who are licensed to carry concealed guns in college classrooms. Okay, maybe a little controversial but what surprises me, after having lived in Texas for a number of years, is that this hasn’t been legal all along. I know that carrying a concealed gun in Texas has been legal for a long time, maybe forever, and I just assumed that college classrooms would not be any different. 
     Well, that’s Texas for you. 

     In Florida, a man who was wanted for violation of probation on several counts of battery and for possession of cannabis, used the wanted poster the sheriff’s office had made up to post as his Facebook profile picture. Needless to say, this less than brilliant move lead to his arrest---again.

A New Career? 

    As I mentioned before, Lorraine and I spent some time out on the Oregon coast. While there I had an epiphany, or at least an idea, for a future career. 
    I decided that if given an opportunity, (like reincarnation, or some such), I will become an eye doctor of some sort on the Oregon Coast. Ophthalmologist or Optometrist, I don’t care, as long as I’m helping these folks correct their perceived eyesight deficiencies. 
      Along this coast the air is filled with salt-laden moisture. It leaves a fine film over everything. Any hotel that does not have windshield-washing equipment handy is probably lacking in other essential amenities, like toilet paper and such. 
     Every time I’m out here I come to the conclusion that I’m going blind, and promise myself to make an appointment with my eye specialist to check my cataracts or whatever. Everything seems a little dimmer, a little more hazy, a little less distinct than when back in Central Oregon. 
      When I remember that it is the dried salt film on my lenses, eyeballs, or window that is making this happen I immediately wash the object, and because I’m used to that effort making a difference, I feel that I can see better. This illusion lasts about two minutes. 
      My conclusion is that this must drive the people who live out here year round to distraction, with a lot of them fleeing to their eye specialist to get checked out or a new prescription acquired. Voila! The makings of a very lucrative business.

Whatever Did I Do to Nature to Get This Kind of Treatment? 

     This past weekend Lorraine and I spent a few days out on the Oregon coast. It was as enjoyable as always except for---well, read on. 
     Along this portion of the coast, around Cape Perpetua especially, where the ocean waves meet the very rocky and irregular coastline, there is a lot of splashing of water into the air, (out here they call them spouters, so I’ll do the same), making for very scenic and psyche-traumatizing occurrences. Why would these beautiful spouters be trauma producing you ask? Because, over the years I have sat along this shore by the hour, camera in hand, focused on the last place I saw a spectacular spouter. 
     I wait and wait and wait, then out of the corner of my eye I see a spectacular spouter fifty yards down the coast. I say to myself, “aha,” and point my camera toward this new location. This action is repeated until I have finally come to acknowledge that the waves, rocks, and wind are in league against me. They know full well who I am, what I want, and are determined to limit me to quickly snapped pictures of spouters that are three-quarters spent with most of the spray already blown away. The gusts of wind, which are usually perfectly timed to catch the most spectacular of the spouters, at least if my camera is aimed in its direction, will blow the spray flat away into the next county just before I snap the shutter. 
     The wind, water, and rocks, have this all perfectly timed to make sure I don’t get the picture I want and fully deserve, or so I believe. Like I said, it is traumatizing to my psyche.