This May Be Something He’ll Want to Leave off His Resume 

      In California, a burglar broke into the playroom of the Indio YMCA and stole a bunch of play money out of a toy cash register. The problem with this is that stealing things, and money is probably high on his list, is the way this thief makes his living. Play money will not get him closer to his goal of financial independence. 
     Now he’s just the laughing stock of the Indio criminal element, or so I’m surmising. When that element gets together to plan some caper, and they’re handing out assignments, they’ll say to our thief, “Sorry, Bud, this caper doesn’t include lifting any play money.” That comment will probably be followed by their all laughing until they fall down. 
    It would be enough to make a guy change his career path. 

 Goat? Sheep? Who Cares?   

     Sometimes you get the feeling that certain civil servants just don’t have enough to do. For instance: the Halton, Ontario, regional police issued a warning to the people they’d sworn to protect and serve that there was a goat on the loose and that they should drive carefully while the police tried to return the goat to its owner. They even published a picture of the goat. 
    That caused a problem because the animal, according to “an officer with more expert knowledge,” announced that the animal was actually a newly shorn sheep. 
     I’m guessing that someone finally asked the owner what the lost animal was and it was confirmed to be a goat. It seems everyone was relieved to have that settled, meantime the goat is still at large. So people in the Halton, Ontario, area, drive with care, it’s like a barnyard out there. 

There It Is, You Figure It Out

Headline: 

 Minnesota Driver Waits for Mouse to Leave Her Car on Side of Highway 

    From this headline we would have to assume that the mouse was driving this lady’s car and that she waited for the mouse to park her car alongside the highway. Well, don’t look at me, that’s what it says. 
    One obvious conclusion is that the writer skipped Headline Writing 101 in Journalism school. However, after further reading we might deduce, even if the writer doesn’t make it easy, that maybe the woman after finding a mouse in her car, (probably not driving), left her car on the shoulder, and was found there by the police, waiting along the road, you got it, for the mouse to leave her car along the highway. 
    I’m acquainted with some journalism majors and their kids could write a better story than this. 
    And we still don’t know if the mouse ever got out of the car or not.