The Lady Got Bitten Where? 

What Did They Say? 
   On a South African beach a woman noticed that a seal had been sunning itself in the same place for most of the day, and fearful that there was something amiss, organized a rescue party to help the poor seal back into the water. The seal took exception to this, and as the article said, “the lady was bitten on the beach,” which as you all know can be very painful. If you’ve not been bitten there, then you wouldn’t know. 
    What the article writer meant to say was that while on the beach, helping a seal back into the water, the lady sustained a bite to her nose, by said seal. They did find her nose but couldn’t attach it to her face, so she is having some kind of surgery to minimize the fact that her face is missing one rather important feature. The seal seems to be doing fine and is back sunning itself on the beach, without being further bothered by well-meaning people.

No One Can Remember Him Doing That Before 
    I understand that in Arkansas utilizing road kill is a totally acceptable pastime. But bedroom kill? It seems that a five-point buck crashed through the window of Wayne’s house. It then ran down the hall to a bedroom, obviously just wanting to take a nap. But Wayne wasn’t about to allow that, so he followed the deer into the bedroom, and after a 20-minute struggle, staggered out and asked his wife to call the police then he dove back into the bedroom and the fight continued. After some time, Wayne drug the now dead deer out of the house to get it processed for its meat. Wayne is none the worse for his encounter with the buck except he walks bowlegged. No one can remember him doing that before.