What Is Going On With Our Wild Turkeys? 

      It seems we have another turkey insurrection, this time in California -- Davis, California, to be exact, in case anyone wants to avoid that area. 
     According to reporter Daniel Uri, it seems that forty aggressive wild turkeys have chosen Davis to exhibit their militant tendencies. To the point where a man couldn’t get out of his car because one turkey, that’s right, one turkey, was surrounding his car and holding him hostage. This man finally called the police for help, otherwise he was going to be late for work. 
      Now picture this; there is a grown man in a car. The car works and can be driven. The man is sitting behind the wheel of this car and can drive it away at any time. There is one turkey circling the car. The man reported that the turkey was huge, but unless this ‘huge’ turkey outweighed the car or could run faster than the car, the man was still at liberty to drive away, say around to the back of the building and get to work using the back door. Or, if desperate enough, just run over the cotton-picken’ turkey. My apologies to all the turkey lovers out there, but self-defense sometimes calls for drastic measures. 
     But we’re not here to discuss the mental acuity of this particular person. 
     This particular aggressive turkey is known as ‘Downtown Tom’. He has already managed to allude captured by Wildlife Officials once. Maybe they were afraid to get out of their truck. 
      The city of Davis has earmarked twenty-thousand dollars to catch and release the unwanted turkeys. However, I think they’re missing a great opportunity. 
     With Thanksgiving only a few weeks away, this city is probably shopping for five dozen turkeys for their “Feed the Needy” program. These are going to cost the city several thousand dollars. So why not--see where I’m going with this--save the twenty-thousand dollars, spend a few dollars on shotgun shells, and use the rest of the appropriated funds to fix a bunch of potholes. 
     They would eliminate their turkey problem, and get the needy fed. Everybody wins. 
     It seems simple from here.