A Talent? 
     I’ve decided that I have a talent, but am not sure how to benefit either myself or others without being a major nuisance or getting arrested. 
      The talent is this. When approaching the checkout area of just about any kind of store, and having the choice of a number of lines to use in checking out, I invariably choose the one that will be the slowest in the store. I’ve not studied to enhance this unique ability or practiced to hone what has to be a natural talent. 
      An example: Last week I decided to leave Fred Meyers, and not being into shoplifting, looked at the ten checkout lanes to see which would get me out the quickest. All the lanes had carts backed out into the aisle, except for one, which had one lady just paying for her purchases, and another lady ready to get checked out. 
    Picking that lane was a no brainer, which some might say could explain my problem. I unloaded my stuff on the moving counter, and waited. For some reason I checked my watch to see how I was progressing with my day’s plan.     The checkout clerk was not really slow, but neither was she the fastest clerk I had seen operate. And I don’t know how much of her problems were dictated by her equipment. I’m talking about the scanner and computer, not her mental acuity. 
    Just one of the things that ate up an inordinate amount of time was the reading of probably eighteen coupons the lady in front of me presented near the close of her transaction. The checkout clerk held each coupon over the scanner, and then checked the computer to see if it had been recognized. None of them were read on the first, second, or usually the third try. She then tried slapping each coupon face down on the reader, thinking that maybe the shock would get the scanners attention. This worked on about one out of five coupons. 
    Her next ploy was to stand back from the scanner, then suddenly leap forward, waving the coupon quickly over the glass surface. Surprisingly this seemed to work most of the time. Other shoppers stopped to see why this lady was repeatedly backing off then lunging at her scanner. I’m sure she had some fencing experience in her background because she was rather graceful in her sneak attacks. 
     The last coupon to get offered was for a gallon of milk. When the computer refused to recognize the coupon, despite all the clerks innovative efforts, a troubleshooter was called in to determine the problem. It turned out that the shopper had picked up the wrong kind of milk, so a flunky was sent off for the right kind. 
    After all the equipment problems, the lady shopper had to be convinced that what the computer said she owed was accurate, and after watching the whole performance I couldn’t fault her for that. That took up more time. 
    As I was leaving the checkout area with my purchases, I again looked at my watch, and was surprised that only twenty minutes had passed. Without my watch, I would have guessed it to be closer to one and one-half days. 
     So what do I do with this natural talent for picking the slowest checkout lane in just about any store? I’m still working on that.