Make A Difference and Feel Better About Yourself 

     I know there are many people out there who suffer from a feeling of low self-esteem. They feel they have nothing to offer and that they are not contributing to the general wellbeing of themselves, their immediate families, or society in general. This leads to a general feeling of discontent and depression. 
      After reading a report by Danial Uria I may have an answer for some of these people. The National Park Service in Los Angeles is looking for volunteers to help examine coyote poop. 
     The reason? There is a lot of conjecture as to what urban coyotes eat, including the rumors that these sly creatures are eating unattended pets, but no one knows for sure. By collecting and studying the coyote poop, the Park Service is finally going to settle the issue once and for all. Won’t that be nice? I know I’ll sleep better at night knowing the answer. 
     I see this as a great opportunity for people who feel that they are not contributing to get involved, get their hands dirty, and make a difference. The therapeutic value of their involvement could be considerable. 
     Then again, if just thinking about this therapy has made you realize that your feelings of discontent and depression are already less than you thought, and you’ve suddenly thought of a dozen other things you could be doing to make you feel better about yourself, then forget the whole thing.

A Talent? 
     I’ve decided that I have a talent, but am not sure how to benefit either myself or others without being a major nuisance or getting arrested. 
      The talent is this. When approaching the checkout area of just about any kind of store, and having the choice of a number of lines to use in checking out, I invariably choose the one that will be the slowest in the store. I’ve not studied to enhance this unique ability or practiced to hone what has to be a natural talent. 
      An example: Last week I decided to leave Fred Meyers, and not being into shoplifting, looked at the ten checkout lanes to see which would get me out the quickest. All the lanes had carts backed out into the aisle, except for one, which had one lady just paying for her purchases, and another lady ready to get checked out. 
    Picking that lane was a no brainer, which some might say could explain my problem. I unloaded my stuff on the moving counter, and waited. For some reason I checked my watch to see how I was progressing with my day’s plan.     The checkout clerk was not really slow, but neither was she the fastest clerk I had seen operate. And I don’t know how much of her problems were dictated by her equipment. I’m talking about the scanner and computer, not her mental acuity. 
    Just one of the things that ate up an inordinate amount of time was the reading of probably eighteen coupons the lady in front of me presented near the close of her transaction. The checkout clerk held each coupon over the scanner, and then checked the computer to see if it had been recognized. None of them were read on the first, second, or usually the third try. She then tried slapping each coupon face down on the reader, thinking that maybe the shock would get the scanners attention. This worked on about one out of five coupons. 
    Her next ploy was to stand back from the scanner, then suddenly leap forward, waving the coupon quickly over the glass surface. Surprisingly this seemed to work most of the time. Other shoppers stopped to see why this lady was repeatedly backing off then lunging at her scanner. I’m sure she had some fencing experience in her background because she was rather graceful in her sneak attacks. 
     The last coupon to get offered was for a gallon of milk. When the computer refused to recognize the coupon, despite all the clerks innovative efforts, a troubleshooter was called in to determine the problem. It turned out that the shopper had picked up the wrong kind of milk, so a flunky was sent off for the right kind. 
    After all the equipment problems, the lady shopper had to be convinced that what the computer said she owed was accurate, and after watching the whole performance I couldn’t fault her for that. That took up more time. 
    As I was leaving the checkout area with my purchases, I again looked at my watch, and was surprised that only twenty minutes had passed. Without my watch, I would have guessed it to be closer to one and one-half days. 
     So what do I do with this natural talent for picking the slowest checkout lane in just about any store? I’m still working on that.

Landscape Services Seem To be Changing 

      No longer do I see a barely English-literate individuals creeping through the neighborhood in a twenty-year old beat-up pickup, with some kind of ancient lawn mower in the back, all of which is covered with dust, rust, and debris. Things are changing. 
      This is what I imagine the lawn care industry is coming to.
      Joe, president of Central Oregon Landscaping stops by in answer to my call looking for someone to mow my lawn. He’ll pull up in a new Ford F-250 pickup, pulling a trailer that carries several pieces of equipment and numerous smaller pieces of yard-care paraphernalia. Neither the truck, trailer, or any of the equipment has a speck of dirt on it. 
      After Joe’s pickup glides to a stop, Bill, his chauffeur, will jump out, race around the front of the truck to open Joe’s door. Joe will be dressed in a lightweight Brooks Brothers suit, including a dress shirt, tie, and Italian loafers. After introducing himself he will hold out his hand and Bill will pass him a laminated menu of Central Oregon Landscaping services, including prices, which Joe will pass on to me. 
      After a brief glance at the menu, the next thing I will know, Bill will be holding a camphor-stick under my nose to help me recover. Once I’m back on my feet Bill will bring out a brief case in which he’ll have numerous second mortgage forms from various lenders to facilitate customers in financing Central Oregon Landscaping’s services. 
      Once Bill and I agree on a fee for the one-time edging, mowing, and cleanup of my small lawn, a third helper will be getting one of the mowers down from the trailer. Bill will take Joe’s suit jacket, hang it in the truck, and will then help Joe into a clean and pressed jump suit. 
      It will take Joe about ten minutes to mow the lawn, while Bill is doing the edging and the helper is starting the cleanup. 
      Twenty-five minutes after pulling up in front of my residence, Joe is back in his suit jacket, the equipment is back in the trailer, and Central Oregon Landscaping is pulling away to its next appointment.