When A Lick's Not As Good As A Promise
     For me the following story is not about the story, but how behavior this weird gets started. 
     A Houston police officer pulled over a female motorist and then asked to lick her feet or in lieu of that, she could give him her underwear.
     Okay, strange, but he did ask and he did give her a choice. At least he was reasonable and polite. It could have been worse for the motorist.
     However it gets a little sticker as he said that if she would permit him to lick her feet or leave with her underwear he would ignore the marijuana paraphernalia in her car. Evidently, when she refused he changed him mind about the paraphernalia and let her go.
     He was arrested, charged with 'Official oppression,' and sentenced to one year in jail.
     So what prompts a guy to try something this bizarre? Had he tried it before with some success? Are there some ladies out there saying, "You mean all I had to do was say, 'No?'"
     At least the guy was polite.
     But some questions do spring to mind.
     Like where did he learn that he liked licking feet? I mean, that's not something a person would accidentally do and say, "Wow, that's neat, I'd like to do that again."
     And why the feet?
     Was he torn between what he really wanted to lick and what he thought he could get permission to lick?
     But to trade a lick for underwear? What's that about?
     To me, how something this bizarre gets started is a conundrum. It reminds me of a number of early Central and South American tribes who discovered that the secretions of certain frogs would kill other humans, or animals. So they started smearing some of this secreted stuff on their arrows to improve the success rate of their hunting. They also found out that a small amount was hallucinogenic and would give them visions and a generally happy time. 
     So imagine when the first guy licks a frog (And that brings up a whole set of new questions), and falls over dead. Is the reaction of the rest of the tribe to look at their dead friend and say, "Wow, I need to try that?" It's hard to imagine. 
     Then after four or five people die, one person only has the nerve to do a little lick, and instead of dying has a vision and exclaims, "Wow, you need to try this!" So how many people died before they figured out the difference between a lethal lick and a vision lick? Maybe that's why many of those tribes just disappeared.
     Like I said, to me it's a conundrum. 

How To Entertain an Owl
     A man in a Seattle park was attacked by an owl, or at least the man felt talons on the back of his head. Maybe his hairdo looked like a big mouse or something. Anyway, this man made the mistake of running and screaming, while the owl continued to chase him.
     And no wonder, if an owl can make something that outweighs it by about 1,000 times run and scream why not. Where else is an owl going to get that kind of cheap entertainment.
     The report says that the man was able to get away. Duh! How many owl attack fatalities have there been in the world over the past fifty years anyway?
     This man reported a small cut on his head. I'm surprised he even reported the incident. Most of us would be embarrassed to make such a fuss over a neat, if unusual, adventure.
     According to the report, there have been other owl attacks in this same park. And why not? This owl has found a fun thing to do, so Seattle residents can expect it to continue seeking similar entertainment. 

If At First, Second, Third, or Fourth You Don't Succeed, Maybe You Should Try Something Different

     And then there is the report of a young man in Florida who drove a stolen car to the police station to pick up court papers relating to a previous car theft he was evidently being charged with. In this guys pocked they found the keys to yet another stolen car. That car was located a block away from the police station. So that's three cars. The report states that in another stolen car that the police recovered, (that makes four,) police found court papers relating to the first car this two-legged crime wave had liberated, so I'm guessing they're assuming he had at one time stolen this fourth car also.
     The report was a little vague and written in a slapdash fashion.
     So, we have this young man who stole four cars and evidently didn't make any money for his efforts, plus got caught four different times. So right away we know this guy's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, or just does not have the aptitude for this kind of career. The problem as I see it, is that there is no entrance exam for would-be car thieves. If there had been, this person could have been counseled to pick another career where his lack of ethics, inability to envision himself ever getting caught, and his natural talent for sneaky behavior could be put to better use---say like politics.

Doesn’t Everyone Have a Few Knives in The House?

    A Florida woman was on probation when she slashed a neighbor’s window screen. The neighbor complained and when the police came and knocked on her door she barricaded the door and refused to let them in. In the process, she lunged at an officer with something sword like. He escaped injury.

    It took officers five hours to get her out of her house, well, mobile home. When they got inside there were surprised to fine several knives, swords, and other bladed weapons. But the big surprise came when they started to count these sharp-edged instruments. There were 3,714 of the things. Now I don’t know the size of the mobile home, but 3,714 bladed weapons would not leave much room for living.

    Along with all the sharp things, they found booby traps, some fake skeletons, and fake severed limbs.

    This is all interesting but leaves me with one question. Why did it take five hours to get into a mobile home?

     

A Spider Could Be the Death of You     
     If you were filling your car with gas and you saw a spider hanging around the cap to your filler pipe, what would you do?
     1. Say, "Well, that's interesting, and go on about your business, allowing the spider to do the same?
     2. Take of your shoe and try to whack the spider, even though it had done nothing to you, so far?
     3. Run around the gas pumps, flapping your arms and screaming, "Spider! Spider!"
     4. Or, take your lighter and try to torch the spider?
     Well, a man in Michigan decided to try the lighter method. Flames started from the side of the car, ran along the pavement, and finally got to the gas pump, where things started to get serious. Luckily, an alert clerk inside the store shut off the pump and called the fire department. The report doesn't say, but if the clerk was smart, he then left for the next county.
     The man suffered no injury, the car suffered only a little damage, but the gas pump was destroyed.
     Once again it has come to our attention that gas and fire are not a good combination. I thought this concept was universally acknowledged, but evidently not.
     I was disappointed that the report didn't even mention how the spider fared.