No News is Good News

 

I don’t pay much attention to the news. I accidently run into more of it than I feel I need while using the internet. Why the lack of interest you ask? Because to find out what’s actually going on in the world a person has to wade through so much marginal accurate to downright deceitful, often poorly written, and usually negative information.

Stuff like this:

In January we got the distressing news that we were facing a Velveeta Cheese shortage. Now for those who care, this article gave the reason that this shortage was connected to more than normal late-season football. We might make the case that eating too much Velveeta is why people will spend hours and hours sitting in front of a TV watching someone else play a game. But that’s another discussion.

This news article wound up by explaining that the source for this information was from “a quote by an unnamed employee of an unnamed Brooklyn-area grocery saying that no further shipments were expected until February.” If I had been concerned before, this last bit of information certainly would have dispelled those worries and allowed the level of adrenaline in my body to return to normal so I could get on with my life.

Another news story covered the good people in Berlin, Germany, who found and reported to police 140 kg of cocaine stuffed into banana boxes and shipped along with a bunch of real bananas from Columbia. The writer guessed this was a “Logistical error” on the part of the shipper. Now an error is when I spell logistical wrong. This error was of shipping six-million Euros worth of white powder to the wrong address. I’m guessing that shipping-clerk Jesus’ cut-off ears are hanging on the employee-entrance of some processing plant in Columbia in order to discourage “errors” of this sort in the future.

Now my point---this is a mildly interesting story and sort of humorous if you’re not the shipper, but would my life turn out different if I’d never heard this story? No! Could I have done something more profitable with my time? Probably!

     Another news item: The headline says “Pilot Acted Strangely After Landing Jumbo jet at Wrong Airport.” Along with this headline is a picture of a Boeing 787, leading one to think that a pilot had landed one of the new generation Boeing aircraft at the wrong airport. But no. The pilot was flying a 747 and was just hauling parts for the 787. If the 747 had been hauling cattle feed would they have shown a picture of a cow with the same headline? Probably.

Another headline: “City Where It's Now Illegal to Smoke in Your Own Home.” Sounds rather drastic and certainly something you’d want to read about. Right? Right. Well -- maybe. So the facts are these; In San Rafael, CA, a new ordnance makes it illegal for residents to smoke in their own home--if—they share a wall with another dwelling and then only if their condo, co-op, or apartment building contains three or more units. So once again the headline is not a real lie, but is certainly misleading.

I think the news I do see is more entertainment than information. And why not? These news networks have to make money the same as any other business and the easiest way to do that is to entertain the general populace. If I don’t feel the need to be entertained, I don’t have to watch.

Exceptions to the above drivel are when some major occurrences happen--like natural disasters, or momentous happenings of national/international political significance. At that point the news people nearly cover the story to death and when they run out of things to say they start repeating themselves, which is okay for the people who are catching up. In these cases, the news media fulfill their purpose as I see it.

But face it, something of this import does not come along every day or week, so the news people must make trivial, and usually negative things seem important. It’s a vicious cycle, which the listener helps perpetuate. And why is that? My conclusion is that most people feel better about themselves and their situations when they see or hear of others in worse situations.

Mark Twain’s thoughts on this subject---“If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.”