AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE YOU’VE NOT SEEN BEFORE 

[There might be a reason for that. But no matter.] 

     I’ve been watching the sports news expecting to hear about this sport hitting the U.S. I think it will be a big hit when it arrives. And that is the sport of Water Buffalo Racing. You read that right, Water Buffalo Racing. It’s big in certain parts of India, so why not here? Successful jockeys would be much sought-after celebrities. 
     For you who may not be familiar with the sport it seems that a pair of water buffalos racing as a team pull a jockey along behind as they race through a muddy rice paddy. This threesome is not racing against other teams, head to head, well, actually side by side, but are striving for a better time than their competition doing the 142.5 meter course, or a hair over 467 feet. Now tell me, what’s not to like. 
    The National Buffalo Racing Through A Muddy Rice Paddy Pulling A Jockey League or NBRTAMRPPAJL is probably in the process of being organized as you read this. They might have to shorten that acronym, otherwise before the sports commentators get through all that the first race will be over and done. Maybe just NBPAJL. 
    This would be a summer sport as it would not work well to do this on a frozen-solid rice paddy, say like in Minnesota, and the distance is a little long to do indoors and still have adequate seating on both ends of the rice paddy course. These buffalo have their heads decorated for the race, to help build esprit de corps I guess, which leaves the rest of their bodies open for sponsor decals, much like stock cars. For all I know sponsors may already be jockeying for display space on what their scouts think will be the most promising contenders. 
    The first racing buffalos will have to be imported, considering the current lack of water buffalos in the U.S., but soon a whole new breeding and training industry similar to horses in Kentucky would spring up. 
    I’m guessing one problem the NBPAJL is even now struggling with is how to keep organized crime from getting their greedy fingers into the sport. Ed Hazard, co-owner of Ed and Joe’s Garage and Towing, of Fargo, ND, who is the first commissioner of the NBPAJL, put out a short but succinct statement only last week. He said, “I’ll be danged if we let those schnooks get involved in our sport.” We’re pretty sure he was talking about organized crime. I mean, who else would schnooks be referring to. 
    He may have a harder time than he realized. I mean, for starters, with gate receipts projected to be in the middle to high five figures, and then all the income from the selling of the TV broadcasting rights, this has got to look like a lucrative sport for people with criminal intentions. I hear that NTTV, the entertainment voice of greater Fargo, ND is the leading contender [actually the only one so far, how far behind can CBS, NBC, or ESPN be?] for the broadcasting rights to these events. 
    And don’t forget the income from the concessions in maybe both racing venues, if current projections turn out to be accurate. [I’m guessing that Buffalo Wings will be a big seller, if only because of the name association.] 
    I hear that the local SPCA is gearing up to protest the first race. The leader of the local chapter was heard to say over an open mike, after announcing the boycott, “What’s a water buffalo?” 
    I’ve been thinking about starting a syndicate for the breeding and training of water buffalos. This will be a hot investment opportunity for one and all, so better send me your money now, and we’ll worry about all that silly paperwork, like issuing stock and what not, until after the hysteria of this investment opportunity dies down a bit.