Well, That's One Way to Do It
     Picture this: You're headed to the airport. You've been planning this trip for a long time, but it looks like you're going to miss your flight. What do you do?
    An Italian couple solved it this way. They were late, the stairway to the plane had been removed and the plane was moving away from the terminal. The boarding door was locked, so the couple went to an adjacent unguarded boarding door, forced it open, and ran out onto the tarmac.
     For some reason the plane didn't let them board. The security staff caught up with them and hauled them off to jail.
     They tried an alternate method of catching their plane and it didn't work. Now they know. 

And They Say Vegetables Are Good For You
     All my life I've been told that vegetables are good for me and just lately I've begun to believe it. It has been sort of like brainwashing. You hear something so long and pretty soon your brain assumes it's true. But this news has set the process back about forty years.
     In Southern California a woman hit her boyfriend in the head with a can of carrots, a can of chicken broth, and a can of peas. The boyfriend didn't survive the dose of vegetables, which didn't surprise me at all. And it wasn't even a good combination of canned goods at that. The girlfriend probably isn't a very good cook.