Another Public Service Announcement for Anyone Thinking About Traveling In New Mexico

October, 2014

Alert!

             This is another New Mexico travel alert! If you're going to New Mexico, and if you're in Bloomfield, and if you're in Burger King, and if Your onion rings cold, you'd best just keep your mouth shut. 

     One gentleman didn’t and the Burger King Manager allegedly attacked him.

     Now the cold-onion-rings guy is suing Burger King, and so it goes.

     A little advice: Before complaining about your cold onion rings, ask the establishment’s manager if he is having a bad day. If so, you might want to decide that cold is just the way you like onion rings. 

Another Dopey Cow?

     Whodathought! I found out today that there is a world cow-milking contest. Contestants travel around the world with their bovine partners to compete. The object is to see how much milk the milker can squeeze out of his partner in the allotted two minutes.

     Recently the World Championship was held at Branzi Fair, in Italy. The winner was Gianmario Ghirardi and his partner Mirka. Between the two they produced 8.7 liters in the allotted two minutes. (I’m not sure I could get that out of my garden hose.) The 8.7 liters is a world’s record. The previous record was two liters. An impressive increase.

I guess that is why there is talk about what kind of anti-doping checks were done on both milkers and cows.

The report posted on Metro.co.uk had the assistant president of the organizing body responding to the doping question by saying, “We checked the cows for any tampering for an hour, then there are eight judges,” whatever in the world that means.

There you have it. It was a new one for me, maybe also for you.

Jury Tampering 101

I’m sure you’ve heard of jury tampering. In Pittsburgh, a lady took this illegal activity to a whole new level. The only problem was she sort of got it backwards. Usually the tampering is to get the jury to do something in your favor or the favor of whomever you’re representing.

This lady, who was in the courthouse after being arraigned and released on a previous retail theft charge,  stole over $500 from the purses of some jury members as they were hearing a case.

Surveillance cameras recorded the whole thing, proving once again that not all criminals are geniuses.

With a little luck she will get this same jury when her case comes to trial.

That Might Work!

     China is hunting a Siberian tiger that Vladimir Putin released into the Russian wilderness. At the time the Russian media made Putin out to be a hero for doing this deed. The tiger has now allegedly roamed across the border into Chinese territory. Not a big surprise  - - if Putin can’t keep within the borders of Russia, why should we expect anything better of a tiger.

     One thing that will help the searchers is that the tiger has been tagged with a tracking device. This might give the rest of the world an idea of what to do with some world leaders who don’t seem to be able to stay within their borders.                                                  

The Upside to Firearms Training

September, 2014

     Some things seem so simple, but then they turn out to be difficult. Like this guy in Pennsylvania who wanted to unload his gun. Okay, not that hard you’d think. If you have a gun, a person would not be out of line thinking that you would know how to load the firearm and in turn would know how to unload the thing.

     But the man we’re talking about did not know how to unload his gun. So what did he do? He fired the thing into his neighbor’s house. The report does not say how many shots into the neighbor’s house it took to unload the gun.

     Both the neighbor and the police took exception to his actions, even though no one was injured. So now this gun-challenged guy is being held in jail under a $20,000.00 bond.

Psst, Wanna Buy a Cologne Meter

     In Lebanon, Oregon, the police tried to stop a suspect at a traffic stop. The guy took off and drove too fast for police to keep up. The escapee topped 100 mph in a Honda Prelude, which is no small task.

     The police later saw the car parked and started searching the surrounding area. They finally found him because they could smell his cologne.

     What can we learn from this?

1. The police in Lebanon, Oregon, can’t go over 100 miles per hour.

2. A Honda Prelude can.

3. The overuse of probably cheap cologne can be your downfall.

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One Headline: FTC Tells Retailers: Drop Your Caffeinated Drawers

     As reported by Diane Bartz and edited by Ros Krasny and Dan Grebler, and a follow-up piece by Jonathan J. Cooper, another Oregon company has made it into the news. This company has run afoul of the FTC for selling clothes, including underwear, that would purportedly make the wearer loss weight. They claimed this would happen because the clothes were infused with caffeine. You heard it right, caffeine. “Slimming and firming results are visible in under a month,” is what they claimed along with “a woman could take 2 inches off the hips and an inch off the thighs in less than a month without effort."

They have agreed to pull their ads and refund some or all of the money acquired by selling these clothes.

     That’s all well and good and it’s good that these folks have been forced to pull this product off the market.

My question is this:  Do people who would buy caffeine infused clothing in order to lose weight deserve their money back?

Who would do this?”

What was their thinking process as they made the decision to buy these caffeinated clothes?

And really, can they be trusted with additional money?

Financial Problems? Stoners to The Rescue

     It seems that a UPS employee, working at an airport, stole what he thought was a package of cash. It turned out to be a huge diamond, worth $160,000. This genius then traded this diamond for a bag of marijuana, worth $20.00. Now I’m just guessing here, but I’d wager good money that this is not the first time this guy has bought and used this substance.

     This UPS employee is now a former employee of UPS.

     The scary part is that several states have now made it easier and probably a lot cheaper for their residents to acquire this miracle substance. I’m still talking about marijuana. In about thirty years, people will be flocking to these states to sell the marijuana-smoking residents $20.00 worth of anything in return for diamonds.

     In fact, states could market these money-challenged marijuana- smoking residents as tourist attractions. Come deal with our Stoners, and pay for your trip.

Troubles at The Grand Canyon?

     Felicia Fonsecal reports on the latest problem at Grand Canyon National Park. I seems that in an effort to reduce waste, park officials have banned plastic water bottles. To take care of the thirst thing they have installed water stations around the park where people can get water.

     The problem comes in because the elk have learned how to work these water stations. They push down on the handles and drink. They seem to like the arrangement, to the extent that they don’t want to share the water with park visitors. In some cases they have become quite belligerent, standing between park visitors and the water supply and not moving. When the visitors try to get around them the elk move to stay between the people and the water. Park biologists have used paint and water guns to try and disperse groups of elk that are using and protecting the water supply.

     Park officials are experimenting with some changes to the water stations so that the elk can’t actually work the things. We’ll see.

     Now this is all very interesting and somewhat amusing, but the thing that really caught my eye was the fact that - - the Park has banned plastic water bottles. WOW! That is big and audacious. To separate most people from their water  bottles is an amazing endeavor. People carry their water bottles everywhere. I see people in church carrying their water bottles. They’re only going to be there for what, maybe an hour or maybe an hour and one half and they need to have water available? If they were crossing the Sahara I could understand, but through a church service? Give me a break.

     If these same people go to the Grand Canyon and become separated from their water bottles, they’re going to suffer major trauma. I hope park officials are ready to deal with that.