When is News News And Not Just The Harassment Of Our Senses?

The news recently reported - - -

At the LEO Zoological Conservation Center there has been an immaculate conception of an anteater. His name is Archie and the mother is named Armani. So far no one has claimed anything supernatural about the situation, but it does appear that Armani got pregnant without the aid of a male anteater. Some have suggested delayed implantation, but come on, what are the odds of that as compared to conception sans a sperm donating male anteater?

     Also recently reported

In Portland, Oregon, a police officer in pursuit of a speeding car, put the chase on hold to help a duck in distress.

     In a dash-cam video released by the Portland Police Bureau, viewers are treated to what looks like the beginning of an exciting high-speed chase. A car zooms past a hiding police cruiser, and the officer begins the pursuit.

     But not long into the chase the officer sees a duck crossing the busy road. Rather than leave it to fend for itself, he pulls over and guides it to safety.

     My take on all this: why in the world would the Portland Police Bureau publish this video? Now every driver who thinks he might have a need to elude the police will be carrying a duck, to throw out the window and distract the following officer. And, how does the safety of a duck trump the safety of any person who could be endangered by the speeding driver? The conclusion I draw from this is that if you are out on the streets of Portland you are on your own. The Portland Police’s motto To “Protect and Serve” really starts with ducks and might apply to me if there are no ducks around.

     Reuters reports

A 39-year-old activist politician introduced a bill in the Romanian parliament last week that would make dolphins as equal before the law as humans. “Dolphin killers, (I’m guessing they are talking about those who kill dolphins) would be given the same sentences as murderers of human beings.” This bill would also ban the use of dolphins in live entertainment shows.

     But, how about dolphin on dolphin crimes. This bill does not touch, at least it’s not reported as such, on what happens when a dolphin violates the rights of another dolphin. If they are really serious about dolphins I don’t see how they can ignore this element of dolphin rights.

Who decides how the dolphins are to be policed and who determines if a dolphin is breaking the law? Who will prosecute the dolphins, and how will the dolphins be incarcerated or punished for their crimes?

Other questions that I think need to be answered are: Do we train a group of dolphins as defense dolphins to protect the rights of accused dolphins? Do we train a dolphin police force to patrol the Black Sea, these are the dolphins Romania seems to be worried about, handle complaints, question dolphin witnesses, and make dolphin arrests? Do we train dolphin CSI teams to study crime scenes and collect flipper prints, and blood samples? Who pays for building the database of dolphin DNA, and facial recognitions? If a killer whale kills a dolphin do we track down the killer whale and if we catch him then what? The killer whale has no rights before this law so I guess we can just whack him without further consideration.

Of course the big question is the dolphin right of self-determination. Does this bill lead to dolphins being given the right to vote, and better yet, the right to run for office?

     If the Romanian parliament wants some free advice, I would suggest they ask this 39-year-old activist to restudy his bill and answer the questions I’ve put forth. If he needs any help I’m always available.