Golfers 

    As I sit at my desk, I’m looking out over the fifteenth fairway of The Greens at Redmond Golf Course. Right at our house the fairway takes a dog leg, which is at the end of a decent drive from the tee. This is out of sight of the tee box, so we have a parade of golfers looking for their balls. Most spot their ball without any trauma, but then there are those who hoped to be on the fairway but are in the water hazard across the fairway from our backyard, or somewhere in the rough, right next to our backyard, or in our back yard. Probably seventy percent of those in the rough find their balls. This rough consists of some juniper trees, large lava rock, sagebrush, and grass, or what passes for grass here in Central Oregon. So far this is all pretty much golf as usual. 
    The thing that I find interesting is what each golfer will do when he finds his ball---or fails to find his ball. You have several types of golfer. 
   The rulebook golfer will, after finding his ball, play the ball, no matter what the degree of difficulty in making the shot. If the golfer must be on his knees under the low limbs of a juniper tree, so be it. If it can legally be moved, the golfer is very careful to move it only so much, and then drops it after holding it at arm’s length, or drops it over his shoulder, taking whatever lie results. 
    What rulebook? golfer will put either his found ball, which he moves, or a new one, down oh so carefully, usually on a tuft of grass or anything to make their shot easier. This golfer does not look around to see who is watching, as he obviously doesn’t care. And he doesn’t drop it in the rough, but out on the fairway in a position where he doesn’t have a tree between his ball and the green. 
    The rulebook if someone is watching golfer will look all around to see if anyone is watching. If no one seems to have an interest in what he’s doing he will revert to a What rulebook? golfer. If he spots someone monitoring his play, which would be his playing partners if they have any sense, he is strictly a Rulebook golfer. 
    The casual adjuster golfer never seems happy with the lie of his ball. He will have several methods of improving his lie. A casual kick with the side of his shoe or dragging his club over the ball to move it. If all else fails he will bend down to tie his shoe and in the process pick up his ball, move to a new position, then drop it down alongside his leg. All this subterfuge is like he was playing for a green jacket in the Masters at Augusta, whereas no one at The Greens at Redmond cares a twig what he is doing. 
    The precision golfer is the one who when finding his ball, takes out a Rangefinder and checks out the distance to the hole. Now he knows to the inch how far he must hit the ball. He carefully selects a club, takes a couple practice swings, then tops the ball which leaps into the air and lands ten yards away, usually not directly toward the green. Or he clips the ball, which out of spite drops into the pond, again which is not between him and the green. Knowing the distance to the green has done this golfer no good at all, but it does look impressive. 
    An interesting thing is that I’ve not seen any women golfers practicing these same tactics. It is not that I’m trying to be kind, I’ve just not caught them at it. 
    Who would have thought that golfers could provide that much entertainment?