40 Minutes Here, 40 Minutes There 

     Yesterday I found that my internet connection was down and at the same time my landline went wonky. Wonky is a technical term I’ll not take the time to explain. The internet being down was not a big problem as I didn’t really need it right then, and the landline was no great loss. However, since I was paying for these services, I thought I should alert someone to the malfunction. 
     The worst part of this dilemma was having to call the service provider to report the loss of service. Hardly had their robot answered the phone, and before we could commence with my identifying myself, it had to explain to me what Century Link is doing to protect their employees and customers from COVID-19. I didn’t need to hear about that, nor about the new products they thought I need to make my life complete. 
     Several times I had to tell them that I was not interested in taking their survey when we got done. The idea that they thought we would actually get done was heartening, but I had my doubts. 
     Once we got through with all that the robot passed me off to another robot which felt compelled to repeat a good part of what the first robot had told me. Maybe it didn’t trust the first robot to do an adequate job of it. Then it went on to tell me that it was going to pass me over to the next customer service specialist, but that the wait would be one to three hours. [What? Is India running out of people?] The robot did offer to call me back as soon as my number came up. 
     The next morning, eight hours later, and not having heard from them I called again, went through the same robotic ritual, and finally got to talk to a person. 
     After that it was only a couple hours until a service person came, fiddled with something on the outside of the house and we had phone service. In the meantime, my internet was back. 
     Now all my efforts only took forty minutes of my time but at my age I don’t know how many more forty-minute segments I have left. If the phone and internet people think that because I have to stay at home I need entertaining I appreciate the thought, but their efforts are not needed and are actually resented.

Who Is That Masked Person?

    One thing I’ve noticed since this COVID-19 thing started, with its social distancing and all, is that it makes it somewhat harder to read people when they have most of their face covered with a mask. I have to depend on the eyes to tell me how any given person is reacting to life in general, or to me specifically. And I realize that they are having the same problem reading me. 
    For centuries, a mask was used to cover the face in certain social settings, and for good reason. The individual didn’t want to be recognized. 
    If the eyes and the skin around the eyes is crinkling up, I can be somewhat sure they are smiling. Either that or getting perturbed at something. I think this works rather well, but it does put a lot more pressure on the eyes. 
    Another thing is, well, let me cite an instance. I was in the store looking for some product, and not having much success, I called Lorraine. She asked a question which I didn’t know the answer to so I said to her, “Let me ask this young lady.” 
    The ‘young lady’ I was referring to was a Fred Meyer employee fiddling with the stock a few feet away. This person had a slight build and long hair, and of course was wearing a mask. 
    The clerk heard my comment to Lorraine, turned and said, “Well, I’m not a young lady, but I’ll be glad to help you.” If nothing else the young man was gracious and forgiving, which I appreciated, because I needed both from him at that moment. 
    After I apologized, he showed me where to find what I was looking for. Another example. I was working the main entrance to the hospital. A nurse had wheeled a patient out the front door where a vehicle was waiting. As she came back inside, she stopped and said, “How’s your wife doing.” 
    This so obviously caught me flat-footed that she went on to explain. “Your wife was in the hospital about a year ago, I was her nurse a number of shifts, and I remember you as being there. So how is she doing?” 
    I explained that she was doing much better thanks to the great care she had received while in the hospital. I probably would not have recognized this nurse even without the mask, but certainly not with the mask on. I’ve had this happen to me several times while working in the hospital where people will say, “Hi Eldon, nice to have you back.” Some I can recognize regardless of the mask, and some not. 
    It's a tricky world out there. 
    I’ve been waiting for a line of masks to come on the market where there is a lower face painted on the mask, such as a Halloween mask would have. After explaining this business opportunity to my two daughters, I find that there are already such masks available. Oh, well. 
    And another thing, what are bank robbers doing now. They just look like everyone else. Maybe that’s a plus for them. The next one I see I’ll have to ask.